Imagine a scenario where you are dealing with a stressor. This includes handling an unruly family member, facing disputes at work, or even having an argument with your spouse. The way we view that stress and characterize it has serious implications on the effect that it has on us. In most circumstances the narrative we create around the stressor is more harmful than the stressor itself.
For example, when we lose our job, there are multiple meanings we can create around the situation. When we don’t get something we want, we can also create various interpretations. For the former incident, most people frame it negatively. They focus on their perceived lack of abilities, talents, and worthiness. This mindset leads to the formation of limiting beliefs which are carried with us as we navigate our professional, personal, and spiritual endeavors.
However, if we take that same incident (losing a job or not getting the object of our desire), we can look at it from another perspective: that this experience is motivating me to become a better version of myself, or that it is a learning event that will fuel my growth and allow me to be more successful in the future. Can you see how when we take a step back and objectively look at the scenario we can consciously ascribe meaning to a difficult or challenging situation?
Indeed, this is the essence of cognitive reappraisal. We take a step back from the challenging situation that we are dealing with and use an objective lens to see the meaning that we are making of it. We can then dissect the meaning that we are making of the challenge and see how that meaning limits or expands the future actions we will take as a result.
In brief, we can alter our realities and outcomes based on our own perception and mind. Since one of the constants in life are challenges and stress which usually can not be changed immediately, one would be wise to shift the perception and narratives we create alongside them so that we can create the best outcomes for our lives and the lives of those around us.
Dr. Shaikh M.D
Your Ultimate Self 